General / Inspiration / Lessons / Quote

on getting out of your own head

Lately I haven’t been sure what to write about. I wouldn’t call writers block, but an inability to pinpoint or clarify the number of thoughts ping-ponging around my head. Because whatever it is I’m thinking, there suddenly seems to be a lack of words to depict the message. Ineffability, you could say.

And the more I find myself resisting those attempts to articulate myself, to just letting my thoughts flow, to letting pen meet paper, finger to keyboard…the further I dig down inside my own head. It can be like a reckless hurricane churning around in there.

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But I’d like to think I’m not alone in this?

So rather then trying to get at whatever it is we need to say, regardless of whether it ‘sounds messy’ we give up entirely and just soak in our confusion. We get overwhelmed, we get anxious, we get stressed. Right?

But (hopefully) something will eventually make us talk about it anyway. We hear a nostalgic or favorite song on the radio, we see a quote, read a passage, a loved one or coworker utters some courageous words, or maybe something completely subconscious just triggers it. We answer the question “how are you” with “I’m good” one too many times, until we simply realize we’re not.

But that’s when it gets good. Because that’s when you realize you’re human. That’s when you realize you’re only doing something wrong by trying to have all the answers. You’re only missing the point when you try to follow a certain path or insist on comparing yourself to anything other than what is meant for you. Even better, that’s when you realize that sometimes it really isn’t even about you…at all.

For me, that’s when it becomes apparent that wowI really am harder on myself than anyone else. 

That’s when I realize that despite circumstance, despite anything that drags me down, rocks the boat, or makes me question… there are things that I intrinsically know to be true about myself. Things that will always make me stand strong. 

It’s more about how I take ownership of that, how I take action, how I choose to work on those strengths & weaknesses in my daily life;  knowing they’re fully within my control.

There’s an air of grace that comes with that kind of self-accountability. It physically makes my shoulders feel less tense.

Because you realize your not waiting on anyone else. You’re not waiting for anything to happen to you. Because you’re already in the midst of it’s creation. 

We do plenty of waiting in our lives already. The average American was on hold for 13 hours last year alone.

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But it will always comes back to patience during those times of waiting. I’m learning the importance of paralyzing my resistance to waiting with persistence {Woody Allen}.  Sometimes I have to remember to let my drive for achievement help me, rather than hinder me. Because even a master playmaker doesn’t know how a game will begin or end, before the first move is made. Almost no one just arrives at success, but rather–they constantly climb. 

It’s knowing that walking down multiple paths or taking a couple shots before you get it right is still one hell of a good way to get there. Some of my fondest memories are actually of getting lost, because that’s when I truly found my way.

The less I fear ‘being seen’, ‘being wrong’, or ‘not being enough’, the more I show up and the more I see my vulnerabilities staring back at me. That’s when I not only start to accept those flaws…but love them.

I start to love every seemingly ‘crazy’ experience, thought, mistake, lesson, weakness, or quirky attribute that’s gotten me to where I am today. I start to crave knowing what they are, and getting real with them. Refusing to acknowledge any of it, is me playing small. My playing small will never serve myself, and it certainly doesn’t serve the world.

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I also came across this fresh take on happiness this week, that might be my favorite yet:

Happiness isn’t being cheerful all the time; it’s being interested in things–finding out more about something, learning how to appreciate something better, incorporating something something new that fits with what you already have.” 

I absolutely love finding out what makes other people tick. What motivates them what inspires them, what encourages them, what makes them feel valued, loved, energized, and connected.

Maybe because I know when I’m doing and answering those questions for myself, I thrive.

I’m not here to tell you to “stop and smell the roses” or “just breathe”, but more often than not, taking a simple step back and getting out of your own head, usually does the trick. Taking in that bigger picture is like the eye of the storm, for that internal hurricane.

——

I also went to church this Sunday…for the first time in a long, long time. I usually avoid bringing much religion or political thought onto this page, but I’d like to share the message I heard:

I was reminded of the idea of “peace”, but in the sense of Christ’s Kingdom. The type of peace that prevails not without chaos on earth, but right in the very midst of it.

The further we dig for answers in some dormant cell or deep fibre of our being, the harder we try to get philosophical, or strive for inner enlightenment, we’re hit with this message:

We are all flawed and must be rescued by the love of a God that will always meet us where we are.”

A God that will never waste our hurt, but provide us with a sense of peace, and a source of oneness during the daily grind of life & our relationships. It’s through peace in Him, and this pursuit of oneness, that we may shed the same attitude of mind towards each other, that Christ has for us.

But oneness doesn’t mean surrounding myself with only people that agree with me. It doesn’t mean having everyone’s validation, their jumping on board with every good or bad idea I may have, or taking a ride on my complain train. I need people in my life that know how to love, care for, and pursue that same sense of Christ-like oneness in our relationship, despite our number of similarities or differences. 

But what I realized the most, is that I hope to be that person for those I encounter.

And suddenly I’m back out of my own head, my ineffable thoughts have been recorded, letters formed words, and haven given some sort of meaning.

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So there you have it, the simply complicated, where another blog post is born.

feeling that happiness,

K.V

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2 thoughts on “on getting out of your own head

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