on self-love & being unmessable with

Part of loving yourself, is simply knowing yourself.

What you like, what you don’t, what works for you, and what doesn’t. Not so much where you’ve been, but where you’re going.

Then, most importantly…harnessing the confidence to own all of that.


Self-love is something I feel I can talk about, not because I have any sort of mastery over it, but because I have fully felt the other side of it.  I’ve definitely experienced the adverse effects of not having it.

And in our own way, we all have. It’s never pretty.

But it wasn’t always that way for me. As a little girl, self-love abounded in me naturally. Almost to a fault, because I was unreasonably stubborn and a force to be reckoned with in a debate. {Ok fine, I’m still a littttttle stubborn. ha.}

Growing up I had no problem rockin’ hot pink leopard jeans, orange cargo pants, sparkly gold leggings with fur sweaters, platform vans with corduroys, and whatever random combinations were fitting my fancy that day. Yet something about reflecting on those fashion nightmares doesn’t make me cringe even in the slightest. It makes me smile. Because at the time, I know I loved it and that’s solely the reason I did it.

kait-baby picture strut

The more I think about it, practicing self-love is stubborn in a way. A good kind of stubborn.

It’s stubborn in the sense of not letting up. It’s stubborn in knowing how to take a stand for youeven if and when no one else does.


It’s ignoring the little voice in the back of your head that says, “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t have enough”.

Recently, I heard the phrase “being unmessable with.” The way I see it, being stubborn with your self-love is kind of like that. Unmessable with.

Like self-love, being unmessable with isn’t about perfect. It isn’t some superficial state of enlightenment. It makes mistakes. It fails, but it tries over and over again. It listens, it learns, and it constantly grows.

Being unmessable with is another thing I’m not saying that I am. But there are plently of moments where I’ve done the work to practice harnessing that persona. It comes up both when ‘looking at myself in the mirror’ and when dealing with others.

Let me just tell you, the result is life changing.

Being unmessable with is definitely also something I’ve seen in people I admire. I’ve noticed that with it, comes a certain separation of self and others.

It requires humility, reflection, compassion, patience, action, and it doesn’t take anything personally. It’s a total engagement of giving and receiving feedback.


Like most things, being unmessable with is an attitude & a demeanor that’s not achieved overnight. But it is a simple, constant choice. 

Because circumstance, disappointment, and obstacles will always occur. That’s the part most of us take for granted.


To be unmessable with, you must be willing to tap into a place of honesty and resilience that you’re not used to visiting.


The more you show up at that place… the more comfortable you will feel. But don’t get me wrong, a new challenge or setting will always bring with it that same nervous energy. That will never go away. 

But you’ll know how to act in spite of it. 

You go from good.
To great.
To relentless.

When you find your self-love, you find your focus. When you really feel it; you’re fully tuned in, connected, and aware. You’ve found the ability to access it, any time, any place.

Through it, you can see your authentic identity. You can hear it knocking at your door, creating your future by living into the present.

It’s about time we care more about ‘wearing the pants’ in our own lives first. And that starts with loving the very thing we put into them. Ourselves. 


The more I think with love, love is all I see. 

{^ i read this aloud daily as a reminder}.



Add yours →

  1. Reblogged this on Empower and Balance and commented:
    Great article!

  2. Reblogged this on aondoe and commented:
    Originally blogged by a blog called Simply Complicated, but this post is simply beautiful! Just read.

  3. Reblogged this on Eliza Waters and commented:
    I thought this well put…

  4. This was great thanks for this post I think it will benefit and encourage many people.:)

  5. kait I loved reading it and it was a deep thought and I loved it by heart:) Thanks

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